I had, recently, a reminder to set priorities, keep goals in mind - the days are long but life is short kind of thing. So I gave it a think. But I couldn't dig up any anxious resolutions or dramatic dreams.
For better or worse - and mostly under duress - I have set my tiller toward just enough, toward daily maintenance, and daily love. I always thought the best possible future was one I could not imagine. I hoped and prayed to feel god's hand; I wanted to be a bottle - or better yet, the message - sent to sea.
But here I am, looking at my small place in this world, knowing myself to be original only in the way we all are, and essential only to this handful of hearts nearest mine. I am just beginning to understand what it takes - the daily discipline and long hours and deep love it takes to see the beauty in this wandering world, and make a little more. I am just beginning to earn my place here, by my husband's side, in the eyes of these girls, under these soft skies.
I am learning, one hopeful morning, one worn down night at a time, to shut up and pay attention, to put a seed down when I harvest, to take joy in the smallest things, to get behind the mule. And when I think of the future, I wish, hopefully and humbly, for more of the same.
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