Friday, June 10, 2011

what we hold dear

I had, recently, a reminder to set priorities, keep goals in mind - the days are long but life is short kind of thing.  So I gave it a think.  But I couldn't dig up any anxious resolutions or dramatic dreams.

For better or worse - and mostly under duress - I have set my tiller toward just enough, toward daily maintenance, and daily love.  I always thought the best possible future was one I could not imagine.  I hoped and prayed to feel god's hand; I wanted to be a bottle - or better yet, the message - sent to sea.

But here I am, looking at my small place in this world, knowing myself to be original only in the way we all are, and essential only to this handful of hearts nearest mine.  I am just beginning to understand what it takes - the daily discipline and long hours and deep love it takes to see the beauty in this wandering world, and make a little more.  I am just beginning to earn my place here, by my husband's side, in the eyes of these girls, under these soft skies.  

I am learning, one hopeful morning, one worn down night at a time, to shut up and pay attention, to put a seed down when I harvest, to take joy in the smallest things, to get behind the mule.  And when I think of the future, I wish, hopefully and humbly, for more of the same.

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