Aster-share

We met Aster the day after Thanksgiving at Mountain Humane in Hailey, Idaho. The vets there gave her the birthday of July 31, 2024, so she was about 4 months old. Her litter had been ditched the month before, brought into shelter and given the full work up - shots, spay/neuter. Because they were all there together, they continued to play as they had since birth, until each of them got adopted. The shelter staff called her Harley Quinn. She bit our hands and rolled on her back and peed. Obviously, we were smitten.  

Now, we are coming up on a year of having Aster in our lives. I think we’ve done a great job together. Aster is confident, playful, super food motivated and therefore easy to train, sleeps through the night, gets along great with all types of dogs, has met and not harassed multiple cats, loves babies and toddlers, loves kids and teenagers, loves my friends - her people - and feels friendly but mostly uninterested in adult people she doesn’t know. When she sees a little kid or someone she loves, she pulls her lips in a submissive smile, showing her beautiful white grin.

She’s still a puppy, at 50 pounds, so she can be pulley on a leash when she knows we’re headed to the park, or when her - substantial - prey drive is activated. Squirrel! She knows and responds well to terms like place, wait, here, sit, down, ok, leave it, and come. She rides in the car cheerfully, goes to friend’s houses, takes long day time naps. She does not always come when called, if she is doing something more fun, playing with a dog or chasing a very good smell. She never runs in the road (anymore). She still needs more training, more development, more maturity to be a truly reliable dog, especially in the city, where safety demands on dogs are so much higher and the environment is so much more distracting and stimulating.

Most of all, Aster is a joy-bot of athletic delight. She is fast, coordinated, playful, healthy, enamored with the wild environment. She eats raspberries, blackberries, currents, and hucks off the bushes. She eats fallen cherries, figs, hawthorne berries, mountain ash berries… she has been known to eat a baby vole or two - there are so many! - and last spring got a bird - before we could stop her - who had fallen out of the nest. She is a delight on a long hike - climbing up to the highest view points, drinking from the hidden creeks. She blasts across the beach with a broad smile, kicking up the surf. At the river she chases sticks, swims, jumps, balances, explores, rolls in dead fish. 

Aster is the opposite of reactive. She is active. Leaning into whatever is offered, ready to try, trusting, hungry, delightful. Everyone loves her. At the dogpark, I watch day after day as Aster knocks a dog to the ground, pins them with her mouth on their neck, and dances like Kali over their bodies. Again and again, the dog hops up and comes back for more. Dog owners tell me all the time that their dog doesn’t usually play anymore - except… with Aster.

I find that she needs two hour-long sessions outside, at least one of which is off leash - ideally both - and at least one of which includes a dog friend or two. When she gets this - and also regular longer hikes, exploration in nature, regular training, playful engagement at home, and lots of snacks - she is easy the rest of the time. Settles on her mat in the kitchen while I cook; naps while I write; stays home alone without a crate for 6 hours. When Aster does not get the engagement and play that she needs, she is an annoying puppy. Pushy. Whiny. In and out the back door. A sock stealing, dog-bed chewing, jumping up-on-you puppy.

I prefer to give her what she needs. And. This is a lot in a day, for one person who is also a parent of two with a full time job. If you’ve made it this far: here’s my dream. I feel shy sharing it, because - as you can probably tell from the above - I really like this dog, and my kids are deeply bonded to her. So hear this with compassion: I want to share Aster with another household. I’ve been divorced for 2.5 years. My kids live at my house half the time - every other week. On the weeks they are here, Aster makes perfect sense. When they are not, I want to rest. Write poetry, maybe see a movie, work longer hours. Have a break from the dogpark. I’d like to be able to go out of town occasionally, and on meditation retreats a few times a year.

I share all this not to defend my dream, but to give you a sense of who I am - who you’d be sharing a dog with, if you turn out to be my dream person. I have a lot of experience co-parenting humans in committed platonic community. I've never raised a puppy before. For me, working together to tend life - beyond the barriers of the nuclear family structure - is political, necessary, challenging, and full of possibility.

I think my dream person lives in North or NE Portland - unless they live outside the city and have space where Aster could be more free - I’d be willing to drive a longer dog-exchange commute to offer her that. You have space and energy for our girlie - maybe you run, want a hiking buddy, or already have a dog? You want the goofy cozy giggly that a young dog at home can bring - Aster is not - yet? - cuddly, but she is super affectionate, and bonds quickly with new people. You can maintain the training we have already done, and communicate consistently with me about what you are experiencing and working on with her. You are into creative, norm-bending social arrangements. I really think this could be great! You get freedom and attachment, and so do we. All the joys of a puppy without the burdens imposed by nuclear living. You get a dog who’s already trained, has a vet relationship, and a built-in babysitter. And, hopefully, we get each other: somebody to text dog pics to, commiserate about annoying behaviors, share the costs.

If you’ve read all this… and you’re still curious, drop me a line?

devonfrances@gmail.com